I wrote this around 18 years old – a dialog between “the dwarf” and “nox”. The dwarf, might have been about feeling dwarfed by something much greater than myself or more closely – my limited perception of myself in awe of knowing myself without limits. Night or “nox” represents how I still feel separate from an inner wisdom but will often contradict that because how is it we can be separate from ourselves?
Anyway, because it is hidden, it is also not seen or other words it comes from darkness and that mainly occurs at night. Could this be why we are so fascinated by our ‘dark’ natures? Is it only dark because we’ve been hiding it from ourselves?
I am half a man with half a vision and with only half a vision, why bother seeking things that can only be half fulfilled?
As my cup is half full, my thirst is always half quenched! Is a musician complete when playing a broken instrument or a painter able to create without paint? If there is a reason behind my lacking, what heartless plans does the so called virtuous god have for a dwarf or do I exist only for the tortuous play of devils?
Take half a step twice to make one complete but never forget you will always be closer to your direction. As every smaller step is gifted with contemplation, yours are aligned closely to your destination. A step that is aligned will fill an empty cup far more than a leap off the track!
What offering has the musician without an instrument and a painter without paint? A greater knowledge of the self that inspires them. As often thoughts are given words, music and images like a crying baby is given milk – to pacify the longing. As our longing already knows its own completion, sounds, images or descriptions are not needed for its realization.
As always, it is only realized by contemplating its true nature and that is only found with stillness and silence.