She growls this angel

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It’s rather late at night and I’ve got an urge to write a few lines. Not sure what about just yet, will see where this goes.

My little girl, Hala is an angel, she is, a true one in every way – but she does growl at strange old ladies that come up to her randomly, screeching “oh look at you, so cute, what’s your name, little girl…” Good on her, very much encouraged from me a growl or two when required. You know if someone came up to me, speaking to me like I can’t comprehend English, and so spoke to me like they would a puppy, I’d growl too. Oh and Hala’s 3 years old and very smart and intuitive.

What’s the acceptable behaviour for such approaches? Yes yes they mean well these overbearing personal space intruding tuck shop ladies, or do they? No I would bet otherwise… There’s the big expectation that “this little girl I don’t know on the street that I’m treating like a sub-intelligence porcelain doll I’d like to keep in my lounge room cabinet if only I could” whose “parent I see standing beside her who doesn’t deserve my respect enough to ask my permission for my intrusion either” will act just like “the cute puppy dog role I’m presenting projecting on her”…

Why should she, again?

Oh yes because you demand respect while treating those around you without respect. Yes of course that’s ethical, oh of course that makes sense. Yes you have a right to be furious, yes how dare anyone make you feel unwanted when you launch yourself at others without invitation. Yes yes, of course others require your respect just because you’re in a ripe old, we all should know that gives you licence to do whatever suits you…

I told you she’s intuitive, she knew just what to do. Growl πŸ™‚

7 thoughts on “She growls this angel

    1. David Wall Post author

      Dad I don’t want to train Hala, I don’t feel training and parenting are compatible concepts anyway. What I want to do is to encourage her natural responses, and she is an example of a very happy and free individual, she actually inspires me in so many ways. The woman who came up to Hala was pushy, demeaning and aggressive, if I was to train her to be subservient to such people, I’m actually helping her to suppress her own natural discernment of such individuals and basically setting her up for potential danger in the future. This is not what I want to do. What is much more important to me is not to show her that such angry people whether or not strangers, family or friends are not more important to me than her. I won’t be placating to other peoples’ personal issues at the expense of the love I have for my daughter no matter what others believe to be acceptable behaviour. If I did this, I’m showing her through my actions who I value more in such circumstances, not Hala but the angry person. Do you remember the man who slapped me with force when I was 10 or so? He justified this because he thought I was pulling out a plant in his front lawn (it was Kevin my childhood friend that was doing it). You went to speak with him and came back justifying his behaviour to me. That didn’t make me feel special or cared for at all. I don’t wish to put that sort of load on Hala for one second. Anyway Dad, I’m not telling you what to believe, I just hope you can see how I view things and know where I’m coming from. If you can’t that’s OK, I sincerely believe you can see the merit of how I view things eventually.

      Reply
  1. Laura Berry

    Personaly i have seen growls from kids before and it isnt nice on the recieving end even if the people wern’t being loving, and to me is always a reflection of the adult/parent with them’s emotions in that situation. People being overbearing isn’t loving but neither is growling. She wouldn’t have attracted those women if the parent had done their emotions about what has triggered the feeling…Sorry it is late my words are a bit blunt. Interesting though! I used to punch men when they walked past my pushchair when i was 2 or 3 completly reflection of my mothers anger towards men.

    Reply
    1. David Wall Post author

      I wouldn’t scold her if I was there. I wasn’t, I would come to her, cuddle her and try to comfort her, she was scared.

      She’s 3, she doesn’t have sophisticated language like you and I but she’s basically saying go away, which is a healthy thing to be able indicate boundaries to others, especially when a stranger is rude to her.

      Yeah, if she was constantly growling at people (which she doesn’t, I’ve never seen it), I’d talk to her about how she can better speak her feelings to others.

      I’m glad you’re blunt, it’s probably best though not to jump the gun with judgements though.

      Reply
    2. David Wall Post author

      But it’s true there’s a whole lot this event brought (and writing this) that’s boiling up to the surface, even though i wasn’t there – a lot to reflect on and feel about!

      Reply
      1. Laura Berry

        Yea i get what you’re saying but i wasn’t judging, just saying how it is… up to age 7 it is always the person with the childs emotions not the child. It doesn’t matter who was with the child i would have said the same. Hugs x

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