Some random ramblings about the police and my facade

20120516-222205.jpgI haven’t written here for a little while, it’s just that I’ve been sort of caught up in day to day things, like finding a new job, like making ends meet with a one income family, like getting from interview to interview at the tail end of my exhausted fortnightly salary. Lately things feel like I’m in a transition of some sort. What I mean is the routine is kind of coming out from the seams.

Today for example, I got stopped by police for going out a train gate without a ticket. I left the ticket at work, at least I think that ticket would have got me through, because it was a return ticket used only once but I didn’t have it anyway and I got a big fine, I think it’s in the vicinity of $300.

I didn’t have any ID on me too and if I wasn’t on their database, they told me they could put me in jail, until they could verify who I was. That doesn’t really seem like a just consequence for the action I performed – being incarcerated and fined for using the train and not carrying a train ticket or having ID. I mean, I wasn’t directly harming anyone and being locked up as a result has to be a frightening and somewhat harmful experience for myself. A somewhat skewed measure of justice, the scale is well tipped over.

In any case I was rushing to an interview with no money in my pocket and when I got there I was telling the recruiter that an $100k annual package job wouldn’t be enough. The truth is, that salary on it’s own in Sydney with 3 mouths to feed and an overpriced rental market, is very tight. What’s strange is only 5 or so years ago $100k was like top dollar. So what happened?

The cost of living just goes up and up and basically makes the poor, poorer and squeezes whatever is left of the middle class. Logically that’s got to have an effect on small to medium business, because with less disposable income, less people overall can purchase stuff and it seems counterintuitive if we really want to stimulate the economy. I mean it might seem simplistic but wouldn’t an economy function better when it’s moving, when goods and services are being exchanged by more people, not less people.

Anyway, I’ve had a bit if a moral dilemma. I know this blog is not really au fay with many or at least falls outside of what’s culturally accepted as a personal interest thing in the professional / business space I am employed in. I don’t go advertising it except the occasional post on Facebook linking here, but I don’t hide my identity here either. Now being that myself, not so long ago was in the position of hiring staff, I often did a bit of background googling of prospective employees by just seeing what would come up searching for their names. It’s fairly common practice nowadays, so I know I too would be scrutinized in the same manner. It is quite possible after looking through my CV or interviewing me, the same people will be reading this and may decide that my interests and leanings make me a person who is not a good fit for their company. What might happen then is I’d potentially lose an opportunity to work in a job I’d really like and work well in – vice versa too.

I did remove my “about us” page as I thought it pigeonholed me even further, being that I mentioned God and love and other things that is, in our current time. synonymous with being a nutter or an air head at the very least. I must admit, I’d in the past have the same opinion too.

But overall when deciding whether or not I’d take lengths to hide myself to stay in my mind competitive in the job seeking market, I have to go back to my original intention behind putting my thoughts and feelings here on this blog.

The original intent was always to present myself and my personal journey of seeking real meaning in my life from what I understand that to be and remain transparent about it, even when that scares me. In other words to attempt at least in some small way to remove my facade and to show the dirt and hopefully the diamonds I’d find there too. So, when I think about that, I can’t verily go back and rebuild a new facade without feeling that I’ve let myself down and trust me, often I do feel that way, so I can’t imagine the real long term or even short term benefit of adding to that feeling. Interestingly, how much better can you imagine, would a person be at any given task, while that person had his or her full or at least fuller self and attention on the job at hand. It takes energy to hide, energy to maintain a facade, energy better used on something more productive, I believe.

Well for now, all I can do is wait and see.

8 thoughts on “Some random ramblings about the police and my facade

  1. Nirnif Amyra

    Why don’t you do what most of us do if you don’t want the professional info linked to the personal things: use a nickname for this sort of thing? To give an example I was in the same situation 2 months ago, looking for a new job and yes, they google you and no, I absolutely did not want my future employers ending up on my blogs for the obvious reasons. Using a nick is not a lie or a facade. It’s what most artists do: a pseudonym and in a way it’s more personal and real, because it is a name you choose for yourself and not something you end up because ancestor A bumped into B at a party, got drunk and you know the rest (not my story, btw, just an example). But then I’ve always been quite strict about separating work from personal things and I don’t find it that difficult. I admit it’s not always easy to hide the real person from people at work, eg when you run into your boss on the street in the clothes you wear at home and not that non-distinct business outfit.
    Anyways, GL with the job hunting, btw. As for the fine: I’d suggest robbing a bank but it seems most of them don’t have any anymore.

    1. David Wall Post author

      Thanks, won’t be robbing a bank any time soon. I might be a little utopian but what if it’s more likely than not that the majority of people are putting on a different face for every occasion that best suits, even to the extent that we fail to even ever be ourselves without the suitable identity that we “should” have, and even start identifying ourselves with the suitable faces we put out there all the time – what if that’s all just a waste of time and energy – because in the end if we’re all just afraid of being exposed by others who are also afraid of being exposed – it seems a rather pointless exercise, when you stand back a little from it all. So I just really in the end don’t want to be doing something that is pointless because I’m told that it’s the right thing to do, because that’s reality and so on.

      1. Nirnif Amyra

        It doesn’t have to be different face, really, just less complex, especially in new situations. People can turn against you surprisingly quickly.

      2. David Wall Post author

        That’s true, it’s kind of natural I suppose, responding differently based on who’s in front of us. My job hunting progressing well, so far at least 🙂

      3. David Wall Post author

        No worries, I can’t keep up with all your pseudonyms anyway 🙂 Probably why I can’t give myself one, I forget it and make a slip and give myself away!

  2. Dean Sims

    I understand what you are saying. I am also actively looking. I don’t think it is a “facade” to be smart (unless you are covering up the fact that you are dumb!). The historical Jesus told his disciples: Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you. Matthew 7:6 NRSV
    See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16 NRSV

    I immediately locked down my FB profile. It’s only smart. My private life isn’t their business as long as I go in a do the job to their satisfaction. I also in the past have used my ‘’ e-mail address. Now I am using my address for my job search. My resume is already questionable enough – instead of spelling out where I got my Master’s degree (University of Dubuque Theological Seminary – Master of Arts in Religion) I only put University of Dubuque, M.A.R. I also no longer put the dates of my degrees as people are easily able to determine my age which also might put me out of the running for positions.

    There is no loss of integrity in approaching each situation as it calls for. If asked directly, though, you would need to ‘fess up and not be ashamed or embarrassed.

    1. David Wall Post author

      Conventional wisdom would say that we reveal of ourselves to another only as much as that other person as proven themselves to be reliable. It’s a bit of a catch 22, because we start off from a position of distrust and put our hoops out for another person to jump through, and when they don’t, we’ve proven to ourselves that person just can’t be trusted. But we never trusted that person on the onset, which means we set ourselves up for disappointment, and not only that but the other person is bound to fail our subjectives tests because they’re flawed and tainted to begin with…


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