This post because of the title and magic workings of Google has been getting a few hits over the last few days. I believe many who might come across this will be looking for more information on AJ Miller / Jesus in light of recent media exposure. Be that to find ‘dirt’, to satisfy curiosity or perhaps get an outsider’s viewpoint.
The title of this post was in relation to some musings on life and death and how I recently became interested in AJ Miller, you can read that here: http://disorderlyhappiness.com/2011/03/08/a-long-debate-almost-about-nothing
Firstly I know a lot more than the average person about search engines and keywords. I’m actually employed to know. So it was clear to me that the title would bring search engine exposure. Now that’s sneaky. I’ve knowingly orchestrated that to feed what I now see is an addiction. I want an audience so I don’t have to feel that I am not important, that I’m not really that special or blessed – in fact from my early childhood I felt my parents couldn’t love me if I was ordinary and truthfully I felt rather ordinary – I struggled with getting good marks in primary school, I was just kind of average at everything I did. And now as a direct reflection of that, my current adult life is well normal – not special… really.
Now the reason I’m telling you this is that coming to know about Divine Truth is not an intellectual game you can play. It means you will start looking at yourself, no better to say feeling about yourself in a very confronting and truthful way. Actually, this started a process for me of relearning who I am, not through my mind but through my feelings. This might mean that you’ll need to start grieving about not feeling lovable, or start releasing the anger around having to hold on to such feelings for so long and this is one of the most challenging aspects we will likely ever face.
Feeling or lets say processing feelings fully is done with this instrument we all have – our bodies. When I really begin to feel something I know it, I feel it, express it through my body. Think about that one, if the natural way of expressing feeling is shunned i.e. screaming / crying / shaking in terror, how does denying our natural bodily expressions of emotion become at all helpful?
But what AJ and Mary (his partner – yes Magdalene) talks about is not really all about connecting with our emotions. It’s primarily and most importantly about connecting with God. That’s also a very challenging one. Who is God? Didn’t Nietzsche proclaim that God is dead?
For many years God to me was this kind of emotionless being. Perhaps best understood as the life force of the universe. A force that we are all connected to in some ways and perhaps I imagined that that connection was a link to our true and higher Self. Does that make me God, you God, everyone and everything, God? Yes on that line of thinking it would. But I could never really grasp the disconnect between being God on the one hand and well, living this ‘ordinary’ rather at times painful life. Perhaps this line of thinking was somehow feeding that addiction I was talking about earlier? That’s something I’ve recently discovered.
So, I’m not actually debunking the “one-consciousness = God” idea, as there’s definitely elements of truth in that philosophy – i.e. we are all connected in ways our 5 senses haven’t as yet revealed to us fully. Importantly though, I’ve come to understand there’s a reason we are created as different and separate individuals and that our creation as individuals with very unique qualities and personalities is actually a most loving act / expression of our God.
AJ’s message was not we are all God or Gods, but more so – children of God. As a child of God, AJ is my brother, you are either my brother or sister and God is our Father / Mother. God is a father or mother to us depending upon whether we are referring to the masculine or feminine qualities of God of which God has both. Now if there’s deep painful core feelings associated with not being fully lovable by our primary caregivers (our mummys and daddys), it becomes very difficult to accept within ourselves the love of our real Mother, our real Father. This is what AJ / Jesus calls Divine Love.
If you have a child, you may know what I’m talking about. The love I have for my daughter is really something I’ve never experienced prior to her coming into my life ( I wrote a little about that here: http://disorderlyhappiness.com/2010/06/25/the-chocolate-paper-wrapping/). It’s a wonderful feeling, I want so so much for her. I want her to grow and be herself to the full extent of what she can be. In fact, for me as a parent, beyond anything else I want her to be completely happy in herself so she can grow, discover and express herself freely and happily at all times.
That love that I feel for my daughter is just an infinitesimal aspect of that Love the Divine Father has for each one of us all the time. Imagine that. Feel that. That Love is the most healing, most wonderful gift that awaits all of us, whenever we wish to become open to receive it. And it is our free will (which is also a gift of love to be ourselves if you think about it) that dictates whether we wish to accept it or not. Because emotionally if we are honest with ourselves, we feel undeserving for whatever reason of such a Love in it’s full intensity, we choose not to accept it. AJ talks a lot about the truth of our emotions – so if we have an emotion of being undeserving, a contradictory emotion of being deserving can not co-exist. Can you really feel two conflicting emotions at the same time?
So the point of this dialogue (and I am open to dialogue if you wish to comment), was to talk about some of my experiences investigating Divine Truth in my life. Being that I’ve found and personally experienced changes in my outlook and life in general so profoundly positive, I’ve come to realise that AJ has indeed pointed me to many Truths, which if you truly examine yourself in your own life – I feel you will likewise come to that realisation.
From that perspective the truth about whether AJ is Jesus or is not Jesus will become quite clear to anyone who truly seeks to know.
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